public disservice announcement

I have had a couple of requests from phpbb forums and other blogs to be able to use the pics that I work over with Adobe Creative Suite CS3 Design Premium and Comic Life from PLASQ. So I have decided that this blog is going to be more for promoting picture answers for posts. (No that doesn't mean I am giving up calling it as I see it. But thanks for the hate mail.) Feel free to use them in any forum you like for non commercial use. Please leave the cynicdotcomic blog address on them ( i make it as small as i can anyway) and point your friends here to gather the collection. If you have requests please leave a comment I will see what i can do. Sending pictures of your mom and sister to be doctored to their disgust is also acceptable.

Monday, July 2, 2007

SUVs: Socially Unacceptable Voicemail slaves.

Please post a comment and explain to me when the act of buying a particular type of car gave you the excuse to shirk all obligation to safety, laws and society all because thats what Jebadiah Jones two doors down has done? Is there a course on ignorance and stupidity that is compulsory for the new age suburban tank owner? I have a fair idea of some of the units comprising the course.
CPU101 Cell Phone Use: How to look important while you drive.
UGI101 Useless Gadget Installation: How to fit your home theatre, coffee maker, i,book(phone,pod), fax machine, photocopier and bar fridge to your status symbol.
FCD101: Fashion Concious Driver (This unit supercedes VGC101: Volvo Golf Caps: The best patterns to wear while ignoring road rules) Covers the acceptable sweat pants and scrunchies for the girls and best bling and oversized sunglasses for the boys.

I'm not privvy to the entire course content as I have sense enough to understand that I dont need that sort of ground clearance in suburbia. The stereotype however seems to fit well for most of these uban assault vehicles. They forever cut people off and pardon themselves with "Get out of my blind spot tool!" How about you put your cell phone down, turn off the plasma screen playing the latest PIXAR movie, take down the damn yellow sign with baby on board that takes up half of your back window, remove the 15 fold out Simpsons kiddie sunshades, put down you bucket of Starbucks esspresso grande caramel cinnamon latte with a twist of lemon, pack your makeup back in your suitcased sized handbag, save putting your scrunchie in your hair until you get to soccer practice, take the damn disco ball the size of a grapefruit off your rear view mirror, let the kid pick up their own toy AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE @$#%ING ROAD FOR ONCE AIRHEAD?

Advertising companies seem to think that it is a good practice to use stock photos to promote stupidity in your ad campaign regardless of it promoting recklessly stupid behaviour. Honey bun, your voicemail from snookums that says "I love you pooky bear ::: insert silly kissy baby sounds:::" can wait until the hour you will spend in the bathroom with the girls when you get to your scrapbooking session can't it?
If people are going to pack $50K worth of the latest home appliances in thier SUV why not go the whole way and buy a Motorhome that is optioned out and get it over with? If you want to go deaf with enough bass to build sound pressures only encountered at space shuttle launch talk to NASA about employment opportunities as a launch pad janitor, instead of drowning out nature for 30 blocks.

If you spend every weekend driving through swampland and forest by all means get an SUV. If you own a company that has mine sites in remote areas then buy a fleet of SUVs. If you are taking the kids to school and popping out for coffee and a manicure then review safety reports and compare the stupidly high costs involved in maintaining an SUV with a perfectly safe and reliable sedan. You save money. You save the environment. But most of all you save yourself from looking like a self absorbed ignorant dolt.


Becky said...

i hate Suv drivers. i like your posts. Nice pictures.


R2K said...

: )