Reverend Phelps Award

You know who this is for. That's right. The idiots that have had an intellect bypass of such efficiency that they have to call you a fag because they have used yo momma a lot and they somehow think that being accused of having an alternate sexual orientation is soul destroying. Reverend Phelps for those of you that don't know is Pastor of the website www.godhatesfags.com (I'm not linking it here. for those of you that want a course in religious bigotry, you can copy and paste into your browser) Hate filled little people that use God as an excuse because they are cowards. This award is for you brainwashed Sunday school rednecks.

Having trouble logging out?

Damn fine chance that you are a postwhore then. You can work it out fairly easily. Do you read every post and type a reply of LOL because you have nothing intelligent to say? Do you find yourself posting 10 sentences in ten successive posts instead of using the edit feature? Mark Day's you tube video on smileys will also hold some relevance to your future as there seems to be a direct relationship between email smiley use and postwhoring smiley use in forums. In all likelihood you will find a reply with one of these in it shortly.



I can see Benny Hinn and Pope Benny being regulars in this intrawebnet mess.



Yeah I'm sick of her too. Useless waste of space that she is. I figured that she may as well make a public service announcement on behalf of her kind.

Your Momma started this....

The obligatory call of the internet neanderthal. "Yo Momma". Congratulations for turning sounds that loosely constitute words into something that you seem to think is insulting. Considering that you are 9000 miles away from my mother and have only ever had sexual relations with yourself and possibly Fido and a jar of mayonaise, I would feel pretty safe putting money on the fact you haven't shagged her. Congratulations on getting your scarred knuckles high enough to pound something on the keyboard that gave birth to the need for spell check and birth control simultaneously.

SUVs: Socially Unacceptable Voicemail slaves.

Please post a comment and explain to me when the act of buying a particular type of car gave you the excuse to shirk all obligation to safety, laws and society all because thats what Jebadiah Jones two doors down has done? Is there a course on ignorance and stupidity that is compulsory for the new age suburban tank owner? I have a fair idea of some of the units comprising the course.
CPU101 Cell Phone Use: How to look important while you drive.
UGI101 Useless Gadget Installation: How to fit your home theatre, coffee maker, i,book(phone,pod), fax machine, photocopier and bar fridge to your status symbol.
FCD101: Fashion Concious Driver (This unit supercedes VGC101: Volvo Golf Caps: The best patterns to wear while ignoring road rules) Covers the acceptable sweat pants and scrunchies for the girls and best bling and oversized sunglasses for the boys.

I'm not privvy to the entire course content as I have sense enough to understand that I dont need that sort of ground clearance in suburbia. The stereotype however seems to fit well for most of these uban assault vehicles. They forever cut people off and pardon themselves with "Get out of my blind spot tool!" How about you put your cell phone down, turn off the plasma screen playing the latest PIXAR movie, take down the damn yellow sign with baby on board that takes up half of your back window, remove the 15 fold out Simpsons kiddie sunshades, put down you bucket of Starbucks esspresso grande caramel cinnamon latte with a twist of lemon, pack your makeup back in your suitcased sized handbag, save putting your scrunchie in your hair until you get to soccer practice, take the damn disco ball the size of a grapefruit off your rear view mirror, let the kid pick up their own toy AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE @$#%ING ROAD FOR ONCE AIRHEAD?

Advertising companies seem to think that it is a good practice to use stock photos to promote stupidity in your ad campaign regardless of it promoting recklessly stupid behaviour. Honey bun, your voicemail from snookums that says "I love you pooky bear ::: insert silly kissy baby sounds:::" can wait until the hour you will spend in the bathroom with the girls when you get to your scrapbooking session can't it?
If people are going to pack $50K worth of the latest home appliances in thier SUV why not go the whole way and buy a Motorhome that is optioned out and get it over with? If you want to go deaf with enough bass to build sound pressures only encountered at space shuttle launch talk to NASA about employment opportunities as a launch pad janitor, instead of drowning out nature for 30 blocks.

If you spend every weekend driving through swampland and forest by all means get an SUV. If you own a company that has mine sites in remote areas then buy a fleet of SUVs. If you are taking the kids to school and popping out for coffee and a manicure then review safety reports and compare the stupidly high costs involved in maintaining an SUV with a perfectly safe and reliable sedan. You save money. You save the environment. But most of all you save yourself from looking like a self absorbed ignorant dolt.